- a simple, short and might-be-fuzzy note on my daydreaming life from a twenties restless field engineer wanna be girl who tried to balance her pleosynchronous real life and the life of her utopia dreamland with her significant other. whatever it means.

27 Jun 2007

One cow, two cows, 5000 cows

I got this from the indodebaters...lately got nearly no topic in my head to write about..the countdown day to my thesis presentation day really takes all commonsense of mine..that's why i put a humor here, i need to laugh a bit to get the heck butterfly out of my stomach :D


Economic Models explained with cows :

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you
some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you
some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one,
milks the other, and then throws the
milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to
analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters
of
credit opened by your brother-in-law
at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned
by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven cows
back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company
owns eight cows, with an option on
one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new
president of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the
release.
The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and
block the roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-
tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon
image called 'Cowkimon' and market
it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for
100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know
where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five
cows.
You count them again and learn you
have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you
have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them
belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full
employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported
the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the
**** out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least
now you are part of a Democracy... .

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very
attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few
beers to celebrate.

INDONESIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are stolen.

You then sell both.

You then stash the money to a very
obscure non-budgetary account.

You then throw some of the money to
political parties for campaign
funds, but you keep most of it for
yourself.



lalalalla :D

1 komentar:

Bovie mengatakan...

this one too =P
ahahah.